safe safe space

November 24, 2018

Second year of high school was a hell lot of fun, if we don’t count the amount of work and assignments we have to do. With the ongoing education system we are dwelling in right now, it is indeed very easy to fall into depressing, stressing situations.

I think, part of being a teenager also includes constantly questioning your selft worth, being very conscious of your body, fully aware of how others see you, and overthinking about everything, even the unnecessary ones.

It’s because around these age we are constantly around our friends rather than with our family and you can feel the social pressure most of the time because everyone is always trying to fit in with the group of people. Everyone wants to feel belonged.

Well, me, too, feel that way, sometimes. There will be days where I will think about how fat or chubby I am compared to other people. Or how attractive a lot of girls are, and how I don’t look like them at all. There were days when I am sad and quiet for no reason, thinking that I have no one to trust. 

There were also times when I just don’t feel like talking, and instead cried my ass out over the simplest thing. You know, the emotional roller coaster.  But the other times, I am still the cheerful and happy girl I was. There are days I just don’t care and have zero fucks to give to anyone.

Days like these are the moments I cherish because it happen less often as I grow up. 

Other than that, I also noticed that a lot of my friends are getting into relationships. Relationship was something I never feel to familiar before, because I barely ever had a real boyfriend. Yes, I do fall A LOT OF TIMES for people, but staying in a long-term, committed one was never a thing.

Relationships, turns out, was not something innocent at all. It involves numerous things like kissing and physical contacts I never though would actually experience until I was married to someone. This make me sounds very nerdy, I know, but that’s shows just how clueless I am with all of this.

The scenes I see in films are actually true, and it also happens to my friends, not just the actors and actresses I saw on the screen. Wow. Moment of pure shock.

I then realized that the reason why I never know about this and was shocked by it was because in Indonesia, sex and every other thing related to it was never a thing we openly talk about. Unlike other countries, a lot of Indonesian kids don’t have any access to the proper sex education they need to know, and they happen to be in a conservative family who still think sex is a taboo topic.

Gladly, my family was quite open with sex talks. Not about everything though, things like masturbation and sexual fantasies, but from time to time they do make me and my siblings know the general things like taking care of our genitals, the basics of consent, about sex and power, etc etc.

Not everyone is as lucky as I am, and I know that. Most teenagers go through this first time experiences (kissing, having sex, masturbation) with no proper information, only based on what their friends are talking about, the internet, or just simply being clueless.

I am starting to worry so much because I know for sure that in these ages, we are very keen on exploring new things, feeling adventurous being able to try and ‘be the first’ between our peers, but we all really do need a proper education for it beforehand to make sure we know when to stop, where is the barrier, and what do we need to know about the consequences. This way, sex and relationships can be somthing safe and happy instead of something secretive and dark.

Recently, I have found a youtuber from Indonesia who post alot of videos talking about sex education, focusing mainly on girls. But some guys did watch her too and learned some from her. She talks about how to masturbate with hygene, what to do before you do sex, what is consent. She basically answers a lot of clueless teenagers’ important questions that they might need.

She talks alot about body positivity and menstruation, about staying out from a toxic relationship. Her name is Sisil, and she even dedicated her Instagram to promote sex education for Indonesian teenagers.

She explained everything explicitly and objectively, and that was what I think we, teenagers need. She remind people to think everything through, to make sure we are always ready before we do anything with our partners.

A lot of people send hate to her, saying that she is trying to promote free sex and sex before marriage and the fact she talked openly about sex education will make teenagers and underaged kids who watched it wants to do the same.

In my opinion, she is trying to give Indonesian people, a safe space, a forum where everybody can find an answer to their questions regarding sex. Questions they might can’t find the answer from anyone, or not comfortable enough to open up. She give people a very objective information and its very important to be educated before doing anything!!

Other than her, I also stumbled upon two accounts on Instagram. One of her is Andrea Gunawan, known as @catwomanizer. 

She is a sexual health acivist and a date coach, and she posted on her Instargram Stories a lot of information about sex. Between her cat pictures and videos, or posts of her amazing hair, she shared too about rape culture and the important of consent!

The other is @inezkristanti. She is a lecturer and a sexuality educator. She also has a collection of highlights of her Instagram Stories talking about more specific things like Foreplay, Infidelity, Masturbation, Hypersexuality, etc.

I am more than happy to see that the awareneess to start educating Indonesian people about sex is something that some people put their time and passion to work in, because I really do thing we deeply need it. Now people get the chance to have a safe space and afe small community where they can get properly educated in a fun and interesting, but still right and authorized information!

Last but not least, I also follow this account I find on Instagram. It is called @perempuantagartegar. It is a nonprofit organization working in promoting a healthy realtionship for girls and women and to be there to help Indonesian women to be more conscious about their body, to be brave enough to speak up, and to be strong enough to leave any bad or toxi relationship they are in.

They try to help by giving free online consulting sessions to any women who need help, anonymously! Women, or men! can talk and tell their stories about their experiences without having to worry about the privacy. They will also get to talk to an anonymous consultant and experts, called Nina (female) and Nino (male) through their website: www.perempuantagartegar.online

I wished my friends and people who might need this inormation can get the access to more accounts and social media similar to this! We need to promote more about the importance of proper sex education in Indonesia!

I am also very open to anyone who wants to share their stories, recommendation, and or experiences in the comments down below! Thankyou ❤

adel

betrayal

November 21, 2018

I was very sad, yesterday. The post I wrote was a messy compilation of whatever I was feeling. I was sad and hurt, because I never thought I will have to lose someone who was so nice, and so close to me. I lost someone important.

He left school because he was caught smoking, an act which is prohibited by school. Another point was because he kept on coming late to school and he only got two chance to choose, to get dropped out from school or to resign himself.

I questioned, at first. Was his problems that big, so that he had to leave? He is not the only one smoking in school, because as we all know it is a habit, an activity most teenagers are doing. He also wasn’t the only person to ever got late so many times. Why did he had to be the one leaving?

There were something that didn’t make the sense, to me. And at first, I blamed the school for that. I thought they were making  the wrong decision in dropping him out, and I am personally against it.

Last night, very late, I found out something. The true reason why he was getting out of school. And it was way different from all the lies and bullshit he told everyone about.

It wasn’t because of smoking, or being late too often. It wasn’t about anything everyone, including me, thought it was.

Turned out, he did something very bad. He took something that wasn’t his. He stole something. He took my friend’s money, a girl I am also close to. She is our classmate.

I was lost of words. I didn’t know what to say. Or to do. I spent the whole day mourning for him being away from school, and now I felt stupid. He had done something so wicked, something I condemned.

I never felt so betrayed. I was angry, surprised, sad. I never thought someone I trusted so much can have the gut to steal something, ever. I never know he will did it. To me, he was a loving, kind, funny person. But this, this is the side of him I never get to see. The side of him, which he probably showed to other people, but never to me.

I cried again the next second, but this time I was just in shock. It felt like I don’t really want to trust anyone anymore. Everyone can change so quickly, and the people I thought I know so well, turns out to be someone who act so distinct and strange.

I was never friend with this side of the person. I never even met him.

I deleted all my photos and posts about him immediately, and I reached out to the girl. She told me everything, and said she was glad I finally knew the truth. She was not as close as I was with him, though, but she also mentioned that he has always been this weird person. 

I was beyond surprised. All of the sudden I heard stories from people who knew him longer than I did, the people who have been close to him in the past but no longer anymore now. It confuses me so much because I never get to see this side.

I don’t know this side exist.

I don’t even know who was the person I trusted, spent time with, and talked to this whole time. I seriously don’t.

As I was leaving school today, he came to get the administration process done. All the other friends, who didn’t know the actual stories, because he also spread lies in order to save his own face, was cheering him and hugging him, saying that everything will be okay and that they will not lose contact with him.

Not everyone know the real story. Only a very few do, and I happen to know because I was his classmate, and I am close with the girl he stole the money from.

I couldn’t even move my feet to get closer to him. I just stood there, from a good distance, looking at him from a far straight in the eyes. I have so many questions inside of my head that I wanted to throw to him.

But anyway, what for? I never knew the person I thought I know in the first place.

All I can do is wishing him a good luck silently, through eye contacts. Wherever he go, I hope he changes. I hope one day he will have the gut to tell the truth and admit his wrongs. I hope I can truly see him again, becoming a better person.

But for now, I think I really do lose a friend. 

adel.

Losing someone, yet again

November 20, 2018

For me, experiencing people leaving from our life is something that all human beings are condemned to feel. No matter how much we try to think that them leaving is probably the best decision for them, we will always feel the hint of sadness crippling in. Because letting someone go and accepting the fact things will be different without them is something that we are never planning for.

Something that we wished would never happen.

Earlier this morning, I got a message that my friend was leaving our school and start homeschooling instead. I cried the whole morning, messaging him and asking for confirmation, and cried even more knowing that yesterday was his last day at school.

He wasn’t the first person to transfer school, I’ve watched a lot of people left my school for various reasons, and yes I was sad, all over again, every time someone leave. It was never easy to accept the fact that things change and the people who used to be there in my life, who at some point was someone I’ve encountered, talked to, shared my opinions and thoughts with, can’t be there anymore, like they used to.

But this one was different. He was my close friend. We are classmates, and I spent almost all my time in school with him, joking around, creating our own inside jokes, not listening in class when we were supposed to, taking weird selfies and funny videos.

We frequently walked to the school canteen together, supporting each other through bad grades on tests and writing song lyrics which he was very passionate in doing. With his jokes and the way he acts, he has been the one lifting my mood up every time I was sad and down-hearted. It was in the way he listens to even the stupidest stories, the way he joked around when he knew I was not in the mood.

Losing someone we love is never easy, they said. But losing someone we platonically love and care so much about, someone we are very close to is a whole different kind of pain. It’s losing your support system, losing someone you never though will have to leave.

It’s finding out a new funny jokes without anyone to share with, because that person is not there anymore.

It’s being tired over the amount of school work I have to do without having anyone to complain to, because that person is not in the same class anymore.

It’s having amazing stories without someone to immediately share it with, because that person is not next to us, that person is not a meter away anymore.

On the last day we went to school together before he left, he was a little bit quiet. Me, on the other hand, having no idea that he was leaving, asked him a couple times if he was feeling okay. I even asked if he was sick or did he need anything, but he tried to convince me that he was okay.

At break time, he asked me to accompany him to the school canteen. He joked about how it might be his last time walking around school, and how he wanted to experience the school ambience once more. I remembered I was just laughing around because I thought he was just joking. Just how we used to.

He got himself a drink and bought me a small cake from one of the stall, and waited for me while I was re-filling my water bottle. We were talking to everyone we met on our way to and from the canteen, and I remembered he was still laughing, how we said “hey!” to the other friends we met.

I didn’t know It will be my last time going to the canteen with him.

I didn’t know that even on his last days, he still tried to make me happy. He acted as if he was okay, to not let people worry too much about him.

One thing I learned, no matter how cliché the next words might sound, but this day remind me again and again on how I need to stop taking people for granted. He reminds me of the people I barely talk to, even though deep down I need their existence in life. The people I take for granted.

This day remind me that life itself is already temporary, and it’s always changing. People will come to your life, showing you and giving you the best and amazing stories to tell, memories to keep, but at some point, when the path goes different way, they are going to go.

And as long as its for their happiness, we should be happy too, for them.

Ger, I hope you find yourself. I hope you find happiness wherever you go, and I hope you never stop lifting other up when they need you. You will be dearly missed. Take care.

adel.

to swim

August 23, 2018

Sometimes I feel like drowning.

I feel like the world is happening in a very quick motion and I am the tiny parts of it, trying to survive, to adapt, and barely making it. It feels nearly impossible to catch up, and I am not even half the way yet.

The thing is, its only me. Everyone seems to be living in their perfectly-shaped bubbles, worrying about nothing, being genuinely happy.  It feels like I am the only one running in this quick pace, as if I am running away from something, from someone. Perhaps, running away from myself.

And in this continuous loop of trying, achieving, running some more, most times just hiding, something down there keep on pulling me down, and those above me don’t help at all. I just feel like I am slowly watching myself sinking, down and down, without being able to stop.

Without knowing how to.

I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I see the first ray of sunshine peeking through, and yet both seems so far away, too far to be reached, and I am somehow afraid that if I show myself, the shine might burn, and all at once I am out to the world, all screwed.

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goal: to be just as  happy as her // weheartit

adel.

 

*it has been some time since i post anything here, but the past two months have been such a blessings. i start my new school year as an 11th grade high school student, i finished my school’s orientation program as a mentor, survived most of my tests and quizzes, and finally two weeks ago got the chance to go to japan (again!) along with my two bestfriends to attend the most amazing 6 days-program of my life (which i will definitely write something about in this blog)

but, along with having the best experiences of my life, i sometimes feel rather, not alone, because i actually enjoy being lonely, but i just feel like it has been hard to connect with everything around me lately. its like i am walking and living on a different radar, on a dimension others don’t reach. it feels almost like how i describe it above.

no, i am not depressed. i am just a little confused, and maybe a little bit more sad of my recent life decisions and just being unhappy with myself right now. but i know for sure that i will, sooner or later, find a way to get out of this pit of no motivation and this pit of only living my life as a habit, as something i am obligated to do. i also will get back on track, hopefully, as soon as  possible.

it feels so good to finally be able to write again here. 

Japan 2018: temples, trees, and bamboos (2)

June 10, 2018

If you are planning to go to Kyoto, you might have heard or googled and came across Ginkakuji Temple and Kinkakuji Temple. Both temples are known for their similar name, which means Silver Temple and Gold Temple. They were also famous tourist spots in Kyoto. The Silver Temple were located inside a beautiful garden, where visitors can walk along the pathways and enjoy the greens and very photogenic trees. Seriously though, I took so many pictures inside the garden and made my brothers pose along with me.

 

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adel and greg

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ginkakuji temple

The other temple, Kinkakuji, was my personal favorite out of the two. It was a big temple standing gracefully in the middle of a small lake inside a garden. The temple is covered with real gold and because we came in the middle of the day, the sun was directly shining on the golden temple and it was reflecting the shine well. The garden was a little bit of a downer, I prefer the one before, but the temple was really really beautiful.

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kinkakuji temple

We also walked along the Philosopher’s Path. It was a 2 km walk along a small river from Ginkakuji (Silver) Temple and it ends around the Nan Zen Ji Temple area. The quiet atmosphere made it very peaceful, no wonder it was called the Philosopher’s Path. There were big stones every a hundred meters or so where people can sit down and enjoy looking at the river, reading, talking, or maybe thinking.

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the view on our walk to philosopher’s path

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random selfie is a must

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spotted some where along the philosopher’s path. a dream house!

The small river was very clean. I was not sure it was an actual river, it might also be the city canal, but the water was clean and clear. We saw a lot of fishes and some ducks. It was a very common scenery to see fishes and ducks even in the gutters and drains in Japan.

It took us probably around 35 – 40 minutes to arrive at the Nan Zen Ji Temple, because the first leg of the walk, we needed to take a break every a couple of minutes to wait for my grandma. But then she decided to took the taxi right back to our house and my mom, my brothers, and me finished the walk.

When we were going there, the road passed some schools, and it was exactly around 4.40 pm and the students were going home. They walked really quickly compared to us! Ah, Indonesia really need a lot of work to do, especially on the pedestrian walk!!

The Nan Zen Ji Temple was located inside a big garden in the middle of like, roads full of houses. We didn’t make it to the actual temple, but we took some pictures on the giant gate around 300 m from the main temple.

We then walked back to the closest station, stopped a little bit for ice cream break, and continued the walk. Ice creams in Japan are amazing, and it was being sold everywhere, in every place we visited and every road we walked in!

My mom then came up with this idea to go to Kyoto Station. On her last visit to Japan last year, she tried an amazing 100-yen-a-plate sushi restaurant inside the mall at Kyoto Station. The kids, including me, were so excited and decided to try and find the restaurant. We are all sushi and sashimi lovers!

The restaurant was called Sushi No Musashi. It was pretty famous and you can easily find news and reviews about it from Google. They sell the sushi on conveyor belt going around a giant squared table, pretty much similar to the sushi bar we have in Sushi Tei in Indonesia.

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an actual definition of home

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Most of the plate cost only 146 yen, or 18.000 rupiah. Some of the other menus cost around 346 yen, for the special and more expensive fishes, like FATTY TUNA. You got two sushi, or one (if it’s a little bit premium) for each plate. I ate 10 plates in total. The best thing about this restaurant was that they have different color codes on the plate for sushi with wasabi and the ones without.

The four of us spent 1.450 yen, which was around 450.000 rupiah, but it was worth the 21 plates we all ate in total!

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the literal happiest

After this, we went back to Sanjo-Keihan and walked to the Gion area. We walked to the famous temple in Gion, Yasaka Shrine. Because it was at night, there was not much to see. W didn’t even get in the shrine, but it was beautiful because the lights were on.

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We didn’t actually find Gion that night, but ended up arriving at the City Center, and by that time we have walked too far, so we decided to eat somewhere. Initially, we were lining up for Ichiran, but then we bail because the waiting time was an hour!

Instead, we indulge on this amazing ramen, located right across Ichiran. There was way too much oil there for me, but taste very good.

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look at the onzen eggs!

The next day, we all went to visit the famous Arashiyama Bamboo Groove. It was yet another tourist must visit destination. Being around tall bamboos really made me feel like I am in a different world. It was located near the Arashiyama Station.

Pro tip, you have to come very early to get perfect shots, because there will be not much people in the morning. We came at around lunch time, and it was hella crowded and pretty hard to take pictures.

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Inside the bamboo forest there were a giant villa and a tea house which was owned or used to be owned by someone powerful in Japan. I didn’t remember who he was, but there was a small museum dedicated just for him near the exit. Each visitor got a free green tea along with some sweets on the tea house right near the entrance. They served authentic green tea and a wafer with matcha paste inside. Both taste amazing.

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yap, yap, yap

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straight out of mother earth

Kyoto, I am indeed in love!

adel.

Japan 2018: Kyoto, The Japan We Know (1)

June 6, 2018

Last week, I went to Japan with my whole family. It was a fun 8 days trip exploring two cities, Kyoto and Osaka. As usual, I will update my traveling experience in series of blogposts, so here we go!

The first city we went to was Kyoto. We arrived early in the morning and the first thing we did was getting our ICOCA card, which was a card you can use to pay train and subway fares by tapping it on the machine before we enter the station and before we left the destined station.

We then took the airport bus to Sanjo Keihan, where our AirBnb was located. It was a really homey, Japanese traditional type of houses, with the tatami and all. Kyoto was actually one of the city in Japan which has a lot of traditional buildings and temples. The ambience of the city was also slower, compared to the bigger and more modern cities like Tokyo or Osaka.

You can feel the taste of old traditional Japan here. We visited the Kiyomisu Dera Temple. It is a big complex with a lot of stairs and not only one big temple, but a collection of small temples in the color of red. Unfortunately, we didn’t enter the temple, which lead to a long path going up a mountain because we were traveling with out grandma and she can’t walk too much, but the view from up there must be amazing, so I will recommend you guys to visit it.

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happy me, happy me

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a temple i saw from the airport bus

 

I have been to Japan earlier this year, but I only stopped by two cities, Fukuoka and Nagasaki, because I was on a cruise trip. Out of so many softcreams being sold in Japan, my favorite ice cream was the one called Cremia. I really enjoyed the CONE!! because it reminds me of Lidah Kucing, an Indonesian traditional cookies. The iccecream was also very milky and almost cheesy, taste like cream cheese.  10/10 highly recommended. Usually it cost more than the other icecreams.

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c r e m i a

Our first night in Kyoto was spent eating sushi as dinner at the first restaurant we saw when we were walking on the way to Gion. It was great and the sushi was fresh. The price was not that friendly though, but based on the brochure which I kept, the restaurant has a lot of branches so it’s not surprising if it’s a well-known restaurant and therefore set their price quite high. They only open from the evening until pass midnight, so there were a lot of people having dinner with their co-worker when we were there.

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Breakfast was quick and amazing with Onigiri from Family Mart. Japan is famous for their convenience stores and how well-served the food being sold there are.  You can expect a healthy meal only from a convenience store, like rice balls or onigiri, salad, cold udon and soba, even teriyaki chicken with rice and pasta! The ingredients were also very fresh and taste as good as the ramen or udon I tried in an actual restaurant.

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the ones i bought from Family Mart. the rice balls from Seven Eleven were cheeper (100 yen!)

The next spot we visited in Kyoto was the famous Fushimi Inari. There were a lot of Torii Gates, creating a path going up to the hill. The top of the hill, or the mountain, was believed to be the place where the Gods live. A lot of people tried to reach the highest point then come back down, and the whole trip would probably take hours.

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But as usual, traveling with grandma means not being able to walk too much, so after like two stops (there were gaps between the rows of Torii Gates where we can sit and enjoy the view around), we went back to the big temple and went back.

The path going to the grand entrance of Fushimi Inari was filled with food stalls on the side of the road, so we decided to try some of the food there. I ate warm rice wrapped with pork, takoyaki, crabsticks, and many more!!

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So that concludes the first part of this Japan trip blog series! I will update more about the beauty of Kyoto and it’s amazing food soon!

 

adel.

JOHN 16:2

May 13, 2018

I woke up today around 8.50 am to the devastating news about the bombings happening in 3 churches in Surabaya, Santa Maria Catholic Church, the Indonesian Christian Church and the Pentecost Central Church. One of the church, St. Maria, was the church my close friend’s grandpa went to each week. He was there among the masses, and gladly is now safe.

The bombings seemed to be arranged almost very organized, only minutes between the other bombings. A lot of my mom friends live in Surabaya so she kept the family informed through messages she got in her social media. We turned the television on and tuned in Metro TV to get the latest update. I deep down cursed all the perpetrators of this horrifying event and everyone being involved in it, using terrorism as an act to ‘protect’ their identity, whatever it is.

Days before the bombings, the media had constantly talked about other sad and heartbreaking news about terrorism, the one happening on Mako Brimob last Thursday, robbery happening in Cileungsi, this, and now the terrorists who just got arrested  after the shooting happening in Cianjur just hours after Surabaya bomb attacks.

I still had to go to church on 10 am with my youngest brother, so I got ready and went to the church in my neighborhood I used to go to. My parents attended the earliest service and told us not to be scared with the news spreading around.

The church was expectedly a little bit vacant than how it usually was, the 10 am mass is usually the one with the most people attending.  But there were not much people, and I noticed there were a couple of police officers who were standing buy in some locations, spreading around the church.

The atmosphere inside the building was also tense, and throughout the mass, every time there was any loud noises, mostly from the kids who were running around and fell over, people got triggered and started looking around to find the source of the noise.

Let me tell you, it was actually not calming to be in that kind of environment, where people were always aware and awake, in a place where we all used to feel the happiest and safest in. But the atmosphere was quickly changed when it was time for our beloved pastor, Romo Ben, to give us homily.

He talked about the Bible verse we were reading today, which was about the Ascension of Jesus Christ. He spoke about how we who believe in Christ had been cleansed by Him and now live along side with Him through His salvation, and therefore should do as what He always told us to; to love and take care of the others.

We as believers who were faced with this situation should not feel scared or afraid with this, but to pray for them, for all the victims and for the perpetrators too. Christ taught us to love our enemies and forgive those who had wronged us.

Romo Ben told us not to seek revenge or try to strike a certain group, religion, race, etc. He told us to pray, and to restrain from posting any provoking pictures or status to spread hatred. “You can’t fight fire with fire, you can’t fight hatred with hatred. Fight with love, because that is what we all actually need, what they actually need. Love,” he said.

I immediately took my phone from my pocket and typed away everything he said. I felt like as cliché as it is, we do need to spread love. When event like this happen, you can see people being angry and sad, and it is okay express it through social media. But we can never feel afraid. We should not be filled with hatred, but to forgive and pray for the victims and most importantly, the perpetrators.

After homily, we all seemed to relaxed a bit and by the time we all had to shook hands and do Salam Damai, we were all smiling again and shaking each other’s hand, and it warms my heart so much on how much what Romo Ben had said today affect us. We didn’t look scared or tensed anymore, and until the mass finished, things went smoothly.

I can’t imagine a lot of these little kids in Surabaya, waking up excitedly to worship Lord, wearing their favorite clothes and batik, their bag along with their Bible in it, to only become the victim of these heartless people. My heart ache so bad reading the news and watching the live report on the television.

It is never okay to use anything as a justification to kill somebody. Beliefs should make the people of it to live a peaceful life, not to justify yourself doing harm and be cruel. Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, “Most people today want a religion which suits the way they live, rather than the one which make demands upon them. Religion thus becomes a luxury like an opera, not a responsibility like life.” And I agree so much.

Attending the mass right after the chaos today and listening to what Romo Ben said really do regain my faith in humanity. That even in the midst of this chaos, we have to realize that there is a way out. We as humans have the power to regain back humanity. By fighting against terrorism, not sharing any pictures of the victims, not starting any online war with other groups, or creating new speculations about the event.

It is normal to express our deepest condolences and pain in social media, to remind people not to split but to stand up together fighting for terrorism, to keep yourself updated and tried to help by donating blood or transferring money, or as simple as praying, but it was never okay to comment anything unnecessary, calling it as a drama, or as a deception from something else. Ultimately, it was NOT okay to use this sad event to defend your own political interest (that include your stupid tweet, Sir, you know who you are).

I just can’t comprehend the amount of hatred a person can have towards others, to the point where they think ending their life and killing others as something holy and an act that would preserve the name of God. They want us to feel afraid, but in the end all they did was to make us stronger and regaining our faith on our belief in spreading love. We didn’t get on their level at all.

My deepest condolences go to all the victims and their family. I hope everyone who are hurt heal quickly and get well soon. I hope you don’t have anything towards the people who hurt you, but love and mercy, and the capability to forgive them.

Lastly, here is a Bible verse that I found earlier today, which I think resonates a lot with today’s event, from John 16:2: “They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, the time is coming when anyone who kills you will think they are offering a service to God.”

Kami tidak takut, kami muak.

adel.