Second year of high school was a hell lot of fun, if we don’t count the amount of work and assignments we have to do. With the ongoing education system we are dwelling in right now, it is indeed very easy to fall into depressing, stressing situations.
I think, part of being a teenager also includes constantly questioning your selft worth, being very conscious of your body, fully aware of how others see you, and overthinking about everything, even the unnecessary ones.
It’s because around these age we are constantly around our friends rather than with our family and you can feel the social pressure most of the time because everyone is always trying to fit in with the group of people. Everyone wants to feel belonged.
Well, me, too, feel that way, sometimes. There will be days where I will think about how fat or chubby I am compared to other people. Or how attractive a lot of girls are, and how I don’t look like them at all. There were days when I am sad and quiet for no reason, thinking that I have no one to trust.
There were also times when I just don’t feel like talking, and instead cried my ass out over the simplest thing. You know, the emotional roller coaster. But the other times, I am still the cheerful and happy girl I was. There are days I just don’t care and have zero fucks to give to anyone.
Days like these are the moments I cherish because it happen less often as I grow up.
Other than that, I also noticed that a lot of my friends are getting into relationships. Relationship was something I never feel to familiar before, because I barely ever had a real boyfriend. Yes, I do fall A LOT OF TIMES for people, but staying in a long-term, committed one was never a thing.
Relationships, turns out, was not something innocent at all. It involves numerous things like kissing and physical contacts I never though would actually experience until I was married to someone. This make me sounds very nerdy, I know, but that’s shows just how clueless I am with all of this.
The scenes I see in films are actually true, and it also happens to my friends, not just the actors and actresses I saw on the screen. Wow. Moment of pure shock.
I then realized that the reason why I never know about this and was shocked by it was because in Indonesia, sex and every other thing related to it was never a thing we openly talk about. Unlike other countries, a lot of Indonesian kids don’t have any access to the proper sex education they need to know, and they happen to be in a conservative family who still think sex is a taboo topic.
Gladly, my family was quite open with sex talks. Not about everything though, things like masturbation and sexual fantasies, but from time to time they do make me and my siblings know the general things like taking care of our genitals, the basics of consent, about sex and power, etc etc.
Not everyone is as lucky as I am, and I know that. Most teenagers go through this first time experiences (kissing, having sex, masturbation) with no proper information, only based on what their friends are talking about, the internet, or just simply being clueless.
I am starting to worry so much because I know for sure that in these ages, we are very keen on exploring new things, feeling adventurous being able to try and ‘be the first’ between our peers, but we all really do need a proper education for it beforehand to make sure we know when to stop, where is the barrier, and what do we need to know about the consequences. This way, sex and relationships can be somthing safe and happy instead of something secretive and dark.
Recently, I have found a youtuber from Indonesia who post alot of videos talking about sex education, focusing mainly on girls. But some guys did watch her too and learned some from her. She talks about how to masturbate with hygene, what to do before you do sex, what is consent. She basically answers a lot of clueless teenagers’ important questions that they might need.
She talks alot about body positivity and menstruation, about staying out from a toxic relationship. Her name is Sisil, and she even dedicated her Instagram to promote sex education for Indonesian teenagers.
She explained everything explicitly and objectively, and that was what I think we, teenagers need. She remind people to think everything through, to make sure we are always ready before we do anything with our partners.
A lot of people send hate to her, saying that she is trying to promote free sex and sex before marriage and the fact she talked openly about sex education will make teenagers and underaged kids who watched it wants to do the same.
In my opinion, she is trying to give Indonesian people, a safe space, a forum where everybody can find an answer to their questions regarding sex. Questions they might can’t find the answer from anyone, or not comfortable enough to open up. She give people a very objective information and its very important to be educated before doing anything!!
Other than her, I also stumbled upon two accounts on Instagram. One of her is Andrea Gunawan, known as @catwomanizer.
She is a sexual health acivist and a date coach, and she posted on her Instargram Stories a lot of information about sex. Between her cat pictures and videos, or posts of her amazing hair, she shared too about rape culture and the important of consent!
The other is @inezkristanti. She is a lecturer and a sexuality educator. She also has a collection of highlights of her Instagram Stories talking about more specific things like Foreplay, Infidelity, Masturbation, Hypersexuality, etc.
I am more than happy to see that the awareneess to start educating Indonesian people about sex is something that some people put their time and passion to work in, because I really do thing we deeply need it. Now people get the chance to have a safe space and afe small community where they can get properly educated in a fun and interesting, but still right and authorized information!
Last but not least, I also follow this account I find on Instagram. It is called @perempuantagartegar. It is a nonprofit organization working in promoting a healthy realtionship for girls and women and to be there to help Indonesian women to be more conscious about their body, to be brave enough to speak up, and to be strong enough to leave any bad or toxi relationship they are in.
They try to help by giving free online consulting sessions to any women who need help, anonymously! Women, or men! can talk and tell their stories about their experiences without having to worry about the privacy. They will also get to talk to an anonymous consultant and experts, called Nina (female) and Nino (male) through their website: www.perempuantagartegar.online
I wished my friends and people who might need this inormation can get the access to more accounts and social media similar to this! We need to promote more about the importance of proper sex education in Indonesia!
I am also very open to anyone who wants to share their stories, recommendation, and or experiences in the comments down below! Thankyou ❤