Kill ‘Em With Kindness

Kali ini, gue lagi pengen ngetik dalam Bahasa Indonesia. HEHEHE, maaf ya.

Sejak kecil, kita sekeluarga itu tinggal di perumahan yang gak jauh dari gereja. Gerejanya itu deket sama sekolah gue waktu itu, jadi hampir setiap minggu biasanya kita ikut misa dan kalau ada acara sekolah biasanya juga ada misa syukur di situ. Seiring berjalannya waktu, keluarga gue jadi aktif di berbagai kegiatan di dalamnya.

Mulai dari koor, atau tata tertib (tatib) saat misa, sampai jadi saksi kolektan, anggota Dewan Pastoral Paroki, gue sendiri jadi anggota misdinar, dan sekarang, bokap baru saja terpilih lagi untuk jadi Ketua Lingkungan. Sebelumnya, beliau juga udah jadi ketua lingkungan selama 3 tahun.

Gue pun udah familiar banget dengan hal-hal kaya gitu, kadang ikut dalam acara-acara pendalaman iman atau arisan atau syukuran kecil-kecilan yang ada di lingkungan tersebut. Gak ngapa-ngapain juga sih, kecuali mendengarkan dan makan gratis AHAHA. Ibu-ibu di lingkungan gue paling top dah dalam urusan penggendutan badan.

Lingkungan gue itu solid banget, terutama ibu-ibunya. Beberapa kali gue ikut yoga sama mereka, dan kerasa bahwa vibe nya emang seru. Kadang ngegosip sih, tapi seringnya ngereceh-ngereceh gajelas, yang tentu saja dipelopori oleh mak gue.

Satu kali, kita semua ikut acara lingkungan. Gue sendiri lupa acaranya apa, tapi yang pasti banyak makan dan ngereceh. Seperti biasa, disitu para ibu-ibu berfoto-foto seperti anak muda jaman sekarang. Bukan pemandangan yang biasa lagi.

Sekitar dua bulan yang lalu, mama gue masuk ke kamar gue waktu lagi siap-siap ke sekolah, dan nyeritain bahwa ada seorang ibu-ibu yang salah kirim foto dan gosip WhatsApp. Di grup yang isinya umat-umat lingkungan itu, mereka kan baru aja saling berkirim foto kehebohan semalem kan. Nah, si ibu ini bermaksud buat menggosip ke temennya yang lain, tapi salah kirim jadi malah ke kirim ke grup itu sendiri.

Dia ngomong kayak ini nih kenapa q males ikut lg karena mereka udah banyakan gosip tawa-tawa dibanding fokus ke berdoa, atau pendalaman iman, atau apapunlah esensi dari pertemuan kemarin malam. Dan itu kocak banget karena dia salah kirim ke grup itu dan akhirnya malu sendiri dan left.

Satu lingkungan gue, menurut cerita my mak, sangat bingung dan gak ngerti kenapa orang ini tiba-tiba marah dan ga selo. Setelah orangnya leave grup pun, yaudah gak ada yang peduli juga. Kita jadi tau kalo memang ibu itu suka ngomongin orang, dan anyway itu gak mengubah apa-apa dalam hidup kita. So, grup lingkungan aman dan damai kembali.

Beberapa minggu sesudahnya, di gereja, kita duduk deket banget sama dia. Dan gue, ketika menyadari hal itu, langsung ngeliat kalo dia juga berusaha menghindari kita. Disisi lain, bokap dan nyokap gue santai-santai aja dan tetep ngikutin misa dengan baik. Tinggalah gue sendirian yang asik memperhatikan dia dan segala rasa awkward yang muncul di mukanya.

Waktu giliran mau Salam Damai, gue asik menunggu apa yang akan dilakukan ibu itu, maupun bokap nyokap gue. Guess what? Nyokap dengan santainya menyalami dia, sambil senyum tulus dan bilang “Damai Kristus ya.” At that point, orang itu cuma ehehehe tersenyum awkward. Setelah misa pun, keluarga gue masih menyapa dia, walaupun cuma sepintas lalu.

Gue adalah orang yang kalo gak suka sama orang atau sesuatu, bakal langsung blak-blakan bilang ke orangnya. Kadang malah yang gue omongin tuh sebenernya gak perlu separah atau sefrontal itu. Gue malah jadi bikin orang itu sakit hati. Berkali-kali bokap nyokap gue bilang, bahwa there are battles that we don’t have to fight, because we simply know we are the winner.

Maksudnya, terkadang kita gak perlu jatoh ke level yang sama dengan seseorang cuma buat ngelawan orang itu. Kadang, ya, sabar aja. Maafin aja orangnya. Mungkin juga dia gak sadar kalo yang dia lakuin itu salah. Gak ada gunanya juga kan buat kita untuk marah-marah dan kesel, karena toh kita sendiri tau kalo yang dia bilang itu salah atau gak bener.

Di titik itu, gue jadi sadar how beautiful forgiveness is. Nyokap dan bokap gue gak galak atau jadi sinis sama ibu itu, tapi tetep senyum tulus dan nyapa dia. Kayak lagu Selena Gomez, Kill Them with Kindness. Dengan mereka berdua yang masih dengan ramah menyapa ibu itu, gue jadi sadar, kita gak butuh marah atau menghina orang yang berusaha ngejatuhin kita.

Kita harus tetep sopan sama semua orang, bukan karena mereka berhak dibaikin, tapi simply karena kita orang baik. Karena kita orang yang respectful, gak peduli dia nya kayak gitu juga atau enggak.

Cukup kita tetep menghormati dan baik sama dia, udah lebih dari cukup buat ‘ngebales’ semua perlakuan atau kesalahan dia. Gue jadi semakin bangga punya ayah ibu semacam mereka, dan semakin kasihan dengan orang-orang yang hidupnya negative enough untuk ngurusin kebahagiaan orang lain.

 

Be good to your enemies, it’s the worst thing you can do to them.

Proverbs 25: 21-22

Selamat hari Sabtu!

adel.

 

 

 

 

 

Bullet Journal?! need help!!

For the past week I’ve been stumbling across a youtube video talking about bullet journal. As someone who document her life and thoughts mostly in writing, I watched the video and ended up searching for more. Guess what? I fell for this system.

It seems so much fun and can be a good way to release stress, especially as students. People who have used it find it very helpful and help them to be more productive in their life. With all the cute doodle and amazing caligraphy, it literally blew my mind.

Turns out it was one of the way to do journaling. It was invented by Ryder Caroll, a digital product designer living in Brooklyn. I did more research, and found out that the system of this bujo (so called) thing is by using spreads and logs.

Since 2012 until now, which was 5 years, I always keep a journal throughout the year. Some of it last longer than a year, some ended in the middle of the year. So far, I’ve had 4 journals finished and one journal with a couple of pages left.

The way I fill these books were so simple. I exprienced something fun, or basically just enjoying my daily life, or having a super random idea popping out of nowhere, along with some poetry and writing here and there, and decided to write it down. I literally treat these books as if they were my own true self, reflected in papers and ink.

But because I’ve been doing the same thing over and over for 4 years, I feel the need to explore other kind of journaling. The first two journals I had was kind of like a diary, because I was only in fifth grade at that time. The third was just a lot of dramas and heartbreaks, as all middleschoolers experienced. The fourth was the last year of middleschool and I was a little bit more mature at that time, so the writing was better.

The best part about journaling was being able to document a very memorable or important events in such detail, that even after a year or two passed, everytime I opened that journal again, I can still feel like I am re-living the moments.

So for my sixth journal (hopefully) starting in the beginning of next year, I really want to try bullet journaling. I don’t know if I will find it fun and exciting or, worst, ended up hating it becase its messing around with my school schedule. Anyway, I am down to try it!

So, if any of you happens to have any experience in bullet journaling, or just any other  terms of journaling, please do give me some tips and tricks before hand! I want to be ready for 2018 ahead of time and hopefully by the time I start, will already get a little bit of the hang of it.

Also also! Finding a dotted notebook in my country, Indonesia, is really really hard. We don’t have the usual bullet journal’s journal brands, like Leuchtturm 1917, etc, and if I had to buy it online from other country, it will be too exspensive for a notebook. So if anyone can help, either by recommending and alternative way to other notebook brands, or how can I still do bujo without a dotted notebook.

Your comments will help so much! I am waiting for responses, you guys! ❤

 

Love,

 

adel.

 

 

Yet, Another Milestone

My life for the past two months have been such a blast. I enjoyed every single moment of it, so much that I forgot to even document it here or writing it down on my journal. High school life have been super busy for me, but I am having a very great time.

For high school, I moved to a totally new school 30 km away from my house. It means a lot of changing, especially on my sleeping schedule. It was ruined. Totally. Not that I am mad about it, anyway.

Meeting new people have always been a thing that I seem to have issues with, as friendly as I look. It is hard to fit yourself to a totally new environment and getting along with the new tradition and the way of living there.

It has been two months, and I think that I’ve learned a lot. So before I started to forget to write anything about it, might as well just post it here.

I learned that the only way I can grow is to get out of my comfort zone. It means that I have to get my own ass out of where I feel the most comfortable in to see and experience the worst, and the best situations. I have to do it, for myself.

In my old school, I felt comfortable because I know the people my whole life, I am close with the teachers, and I was doing good in almost every subject they have there. I used to think that being smart and being the best is a competition. But here, I met a lot of smart people and instead of thinking about them as a rival, they are someone I look up to now. I learned a lot from them and the way they think. They become my friends and right now, the only person I am having a competition with is between me and myself.

I survived the orientation process, which was, indescribably beautiful. It was almost life changing, even. I learned about honesty and simplicity, two keys of life that we don’t really see anymore nowadays. I built a connection with my new friends, and within three days, it feels like we have been family all this time.

There are a lot of new opportunities here. I get the chance to try new things, like learning cinematography and more about scriptwriting. I joined an english club in school and learn more about debate and presenting speeches! I become one of the committee for the upcoming school lustrum festival and I also am performing devile and is looking forward to Jambore!

At first, I hesitate a lot. I am afraid that I will not be able to keep up with all the activities that I signed myself up for. I am afraid of failing, so I want to make sure that I am always presenting my best self in front of anyone.

But that is impossible, either. No one is perfect. Everyone will always make mistakes. It is about being able to admit that and learn from it, so you don’t do the same in the future. Always being in the position of wanting to learn more and more, instead of thinking that you are the best and stop doing and creating anything.

Life has been amazing, and it has been more natural to make new friends. The last time I remember, I was this awkward little girl who had no idea how to make friends. Reading my older journals, it made me laugh at my old self for not being brave enough to even start a conversation.

Through connecting with new people, I learned that at the end, we all as humans will aways have something in common. Be it a hobby, an interest on a certain topic, or even just the same type of jokes. That was what makes us unique and most of all, interdependent.

Because one can not grow without another.

Because one can not learn without the other.

So if I had the chance to go back to my 14 years old self, I would told her that it is okay to be the one initiating a conversation! It might felt awkward at first, but understand that it will not last long.

Much, much, love.

adel.

 

Bali beaches, waves, sand, and all the beautiful mystical places [vol. 2]

Welcome to the second post from my series of blogsposts regarding my recent trip to the beautiful Bali Island with my friends. Just in case you haven’t read the first post, check it our first before proceeding to read this one.

In the first post, I told you guys about Bali and its temples which I visited. Here, I am going to tell you about Bali’s beautiful beaches that I visited.

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On the second day, we went to Tanjung Benoa Beach. It is a very famous place in Bali to do many fun watersports, like banana boat, parasailing, flying fish, scuba diving, rolling donut, jetskiing, and visiting Penyu Island using a boat.

So, because I was traveling with like, all of my friends, all 140 people of them, I decided to not choose the watersports that will make me dirty or wet. Why? Because it will take a long time to  clean myself up and I would have to brought new clean clothes and pack the dirty one and brought it with me through the rest of the day.

So first, it was not worth the money versus the amount of energy I had to dedicate just to clean myself up after that. I had plenty of times in the future to go there again with my family and do any sports I want, but this time, because it was a trip with my friends, I wanted to make it count.

So I chose the boat trip to Penyu Island. Okay, we were all only sitting in quiet a big boat, along with 9 other people which were all my friends, enjoying the sea view and talking. It didn’t guarantee you to still be clean tho, because the driver (YES, the driver. He drove the boat STOP ASKING) kept doing crazy trick with the boat and tilt it crazily so yeah, a little bit water splashes here and there.

Still worth it.

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We had to pay 75k per person, and the trip to the island (which was actually not an island tho, it was still located in Bali but on the other side of the beach) took around 15 mins.

I braided my hair v early in the morning before I left the hotel room, because long hair and salty air are not bestfriends. My hair will instantly got sticky and wet and just weird, so braiding it first did help me a lot later when I had to wash my hair up.

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When you arrived there, you had to pay another 10k as the entrance fee. Foreigners, beware. They might ask you for higher price, thinking that you don’t have any idea about it. Always do a research beforehand so you will know how much the exact price are and you don’t overspend your money on like, wtf, entrance fees?!

The name Penyu Island was actually from this animals, penyu or turtles. But they actually had some other animals others than this, like birds and snakes and iguanas.

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We spent around one and a half hour on the island before going back to Tanjung Benoa and met the rest of our friends. Some of mine decided to do the extreme sports and they were all busy changing their clothes and showering and having salty hair.

After lunch at a restaurant not so far from the beach, we went straight to the next destination, which was Uluwatu! It was the famous place where people watch Kecak Dance. Sadly, the kecak dance was held only around sunset, and we arrived there at the afternoon, so we only went there to take pictures and enjoying the view of the sea.

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Entering temple means wearing appropriate clothes, which was sarong and sometimes with a sash. The provide this for you in the front gate so you don’t have to bring any. I was wearing a short black pants so I wore it. If you wear something below the knee, you actually don’t have to use the sarong to cover. But most people still wear it as a show of respect to the culture.

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Uluwatu is also very famous for its monkeys. You will find the tour guides alarming you before you arrive there to always keep your belongings near to you, and be careful if you wear glasses or bringing cameras and handphones.

Years ago, Uluwatu had more monkeys than what I saw on my last trip. The monkeys are quiet big and yes, they do like to take our stuffs, like glasses and phones and bandanas, but only if you stand to close to them or if you are unaware of your surroundings. Also, if a monkey decided to hop to your shoulder, don’t ever scream. It will only make them afraid and might accidentally hurt you.

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Yeay! After strolling around Uluwatu, we went to…. Pandawa Beach! I never been here before, and the place was very famous for people canoeing. I was so excited, and decided to just fuck it and rent a canoe with my close friend, Andrew. It cost 50k, which means 25k for each person. You can actually fit one more person in the middle of the canoe, but it only made the canoe more unstable.

It didn’t made me wet at all, because I brought my camera along and took a lot of pictures from it. But my shorts sure did got wet sitting on the canoe, so then because I didn;t bring any spare clothes, I bought a short pants in one of the stalls there. The seller asked for 45k, but I bargained hard and got it for 25k. Great deal!

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After we were done and as the sky got darker, we got back to our buses and went straight to the last destination, which was our dinner spot! We went to Jimbaran, a famous area to find yummy BBQ seafood. After that, we went back to our hotel.

That was Day 2! I am going to update more of my trip on my next post. Until then!

 

adel.

 

 

 

Exploring Bali with the best peeps [vol. 1]

Last weekend, from May 28 to 31 of 2017, I went to Bali with my school friends from the class of 2016/2017. Usually our seniors went to Jogja each year but this year was different because we all voted to go to a different place this time.

We met each other exactly at 00.00 in the morning at school, and went to the airport together by bus. When we arrived there, we got our boarding passes and student id.

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We were divided into two flights, at 4.30 and 5.40 in the morning. We used Lion Air, and at first I was a little bit skeptical with the plane and the flight because man, its Lion Air. But Thank God everything went fine.

When we arrived in Bali, it was around 8.30 in the morning. We were then divided into three groups and three buses, and we went straight to the first destination which was Taman Ayun Temple.

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In this trip, we went mostly to temples, because we used probably one of the cheapest travel agent using the cheapest package to cut down the price.

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We took a stroll around the temple, because we were not allowed to get in. Temples in Bali is a very good place to visit, but we always have to make sure that we wear the proper attire to respect the cultural and religious norms they have there. Women who are in their menstruation period are not allowed to enter temples, they can only see the temples from the outside.

We had lunch at Saras Restaurant. The food here was so-so, maybe because we didn’t really look for any good food to eat at but rather a restaurant with a building big enough for 150 people lol.

The next stop was Bedugul! Bedugul was located quiet high above the sea level, so the weather was a little bit colder. It was raining hard when we went there, so most of us rent umbrellas for 10k. Oh, and took cute selfies!

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I posted some of the pictures of me while in Bali on my instagram. We legit left our umbrellas to take pictures under the rain to get the perfect picture! It was worth it though.

I recommend you to bring some clothes so when it rains, you can change your tops right after that so it doesn’t get cold. I brought a very light-weight clothes and immediately change myself so I didn’t get sick.

Fun tips, also wear a very light bottoms. Not short, but light. Visiting temples requires you to always wear something below the knee or wear sarong and sash. In the temples I’ve mentioned, they didn’t provide you with it (at least not that I see), so its better to just wear something appropriate before hand.

Some of my friend wore jeans and it was very uncomfortable when it was raining, while I was wearing a black long loose ankle pants and it felt so good because it got dry faster than jeans.

After Bedugul temple, we went to Tanah Lot. Tanah Lot was also a very well-known place in Bali. It was one of the best sunset spot, but sadly it was cloudy when we were there. You didn’t have to wear long bottoms here, because we didn’t actually enter the temple.

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There are quiet a lot of local shops on our way to Tanah Lot, where people sell mandalas, sarong, cute sandals, t-shirts, etc. The price was actually very cheap, if you are good at bargaining. Usually they will give you high prices at first (especially if they know you are foreigners and/or students! They think you are not good at bargaining), but actually you can get a lot of good deals!

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Another pro tip, I peed a lot in Bali. I drink water and bought water bottles ALL THE TIME. Usually you have to pay 2k when visiting toilets in Bali, so always prepare cash money just in case!

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After Tanah Lot, we went to Kuta for dinner. We went to a restaurant called WongSolo which serves Javanese meal. Again, I am not going to recommend the food here because when we were traveling we didn’t really look for good food but rather a place with big place for all of us to sit.

It was the first day! I am going to upload my journey on Day 2, which was my personal favorite, on the next post. Stay tune!

adel.

Searching for Syria

I went to a summer camp to Bergen, Norway, last year. And while I was in there, I learned about refugees. It was actually not a term I am familiar with, but learning about them, and meeting two of them in person in the camp taught me a lot of things.

ref·u·gee

ˌrefyo͝oˈjē/

noun

plural noun: refugee

a person who has been forced to leave their country in order to escape war, persecution, or natural disaster.

It is not a big thing in Indonesia apparently, because we are lucky enough to be in a safe zone with no war currently, but it may be different from other countries like Turkey, Lebanon, Egypt, etc.

I remember meeting a refugee from Syria in the camp. He was a very nice guy, and he has been separate from his family all his life. He didn’t remember who they are, as he moved to Norway alone as a little kid. When I met him, he was living in a refugee camp that the Norwegian government provided for people who had to escape their countries because of war.

There are actually problems caused by this, because a lot of developed countries which accepted these refugees started to see some economic problems. They need money to take care of this people, but technically these refugees are not their citizens. Even more and more refugees are coming each year, and it started to get overwhelming for them.

Not only for the money, but also the places to shelter them. Refugee camps need a quiet big space to keep a lot of people, while the government also need the places maybe to build something else for the people.

These refugees have to wait for a lot of years to get their asylum, and there is a very big chance for them to get rejected. After that, the only option for them is to leave the host country.

While waiting for the asylum to come out, it will be very hard for them to find jobs, to go to school, hospitals, etc. And don’t even mention about them having to get comfortable in a totally new environment. To live in a society that may be judging them based on the country they are trying so hard to leave.

Not only that, they also have language barriers with them.

They feel like they do not belong. The countries they are suppose to grow up in, safely, are now damaged. And they are growing up in a developed, totally new country, that doesn’t seem to accept them. I have no idea how that must feel, but even to imagine it makes me so sad.

I remember that in the camp, we had this group discussion about what we should do to them. What can we do to help them. Some of my friends said that we should all donate together, even those whose country does not have any refugee camps. We were trying to find a way out to solve this problem for these refugees.

Today, when I was surfing the internet, I found this link in the bottom part of the desktop. It was an ad, made by The UN Refugee Agency together with Google to spread awareness about refugees in Syria.

REFUGEES

You see that purple-colored words? Yes, it appeared when I opened Google Chrome. When you click it, it will take you to a very interesting website which will educate a lot of people, especially teenagers like me!

https://searchingforsyria.org/

You can help the refugees in three ways:

  1.  By sharing it to your social media platforms, or writing it down in your blog like what I did right now, to spread awareness to a lot of people that things like this is happening across the globe and we need to finally take actions for it. The website will let you directly sharing it to your Facebook and Twitter account, also giving you a direct link to copy.
  2. By donating for these refugees. You can donate monthly or just one time with the amount you want. https://donate.unhcr.org/int-en/searching-syria. Everytime you type in an amount, they will show you how that money can help the refugees. For example, when you donate 50$, you could provide synthetic mats to prevent five newly arrived families every month from sleeping on the ground. It is hosted by WorldPay.
  3. By joining and take pledge to support the refugees and stand #WithRefugees. All you have to do is fill a form where they will ask for your name, your country, and email. http://www.unhcr.org/join/

The website is very interactive and educating. Reading this and remembering about the story he told me back in the camp made me feel grateful to be born in this country. Despite the others things that has been happening in our country for the past days, the hatred, the bombing in Kampung Melayu, the caning in Aceh, I still do believe we can do better.

We have and will always have hope. We deserve to always have one.

And after all,  these refugees do, too.

adel.

unrequited love

Things change so fast, literaly. The last time I posted this, I am super proud with Ahok and Jokowi and now, while writing this, it has been more than a week since Ahok was sentenced for two years of jails as he was found guilty of blasphemy, a law that I never really understand anyway.

I was very sad when I knew that, because to me, Ahok is more than just a person. As a triple minority in Indonesia (chinese, a christian, and a woman), he is my symbol of hope. A hope that after all, people like me can fight for something and make things better. That being a minority doesn’t mean we have to be afraid to show our love to this country.

But to saw Ahok sentenced for two years of jail, it broke my heart. I know and we all know that he a good person. That all he ever wanted is to build this wrecked city to be better each day, and to take care of his people. All he ever wanted was to show his never-ending love for this city, and trying to give all he has for this country.

And yet, people still hate him. People still managed to point out his flaws and have this much hatred for him. People are brave enough to go on streets and screams bad words about him, death threads, and even insult his ethnicity.

Why?

My most favorite subject in school is History. I love them, because I like to read stories. I like to know that behind everything, there is always a story about it. But when I learned about what happened in 1965, and what happened at 1998, I felt super sad.

Its just, heartbreaking.

To read all this stories about people whose case were never justified by the law at all, the pain they will always have to bear for the rest of their live, the pain of someone they love so deeply died tragically, just because of their ethnicity. They died, never knowing what did they do wrong.

It scares me how much hatred can someone have in their heart towards someone else, just because they have different beliefs and culture. I wondered how many people still get panic attacks and nightmares about this event, long after this. The horrible horrible day.

No one deserve it.

And now, Ahok doesn’t deserve this either.

After everything that happens last week, I felt broken. Because no matter how hard I try, maybe I will never get recognized. Because I am just a minority. Because I am Chinese, instead of Indonesian. Even though I actually never even went to China before. I have been living in Indonesia for all my life.

And yet, for some people, I am still someone that is bad. Someone that should never be allowed to live here. Even though Indonesian is my mother-tounge. Is being an Chinese-Indonesian a curse?

Well, I guess it was never my fault. I never chose to be born this way. And I don’t think we should ever hate on others just because we have different beliefs or culture. Instead of trying to unite the difference, we need to learn how to celebrate it.

We don’t get stronger by being the same. We don’t get better by only sharing and being with those who have the same opinion as ours. But we grow when we unite, when we learn to tolerate others. We grow smarter by learning from others and sharing with others with different thoughts than us.

Sadly, some people still don’t realize that.

After this, there will only be two choices. To be sad because of it, and then be afraid, or to finally stand up and fight for what we think is right. My dream is to help and support more people like Ahok, because maybe the last time, he didn’t get enough of it. We let him fight the battle alone.

But after Ahok, we realize that we need to be together! We need to fight and support the right and clean goverment, and also criticize them when they did something wrong. That is how things work.

Because at the end of everything, this is still our country. Our city. The future is in our hands, and if we don’t stand up for our opinions. Instead of being afraid and shutting ourselves down, we need to finally stand up and contribute to this country.

I believe that after all, Indonesia is better than all of this.

And yes, maybe for now, this love I have for this country is going to be a one sided love.

And for once, it’s okay.

Real and undefined love never need to be requited anyway.

adel.