Last Tuesday and Wednesday, I didn’t post anything because I went to a scout camp with my school friends. It was a very fun two days and I could literally write down a very long essay about all the details and stuffs, but I don’t think you guys will like it because it will be so boring and there will be no pictures, sadly, because we can’t bring our smartphones to the camp. But anyway there were a lot of thoughts going around my head while I was in the camp so I’ll post it here instead.
While doing all the activities, I thought about the exact time last year. We also had a scout camp last year, with almost the same activities, with the same school friends and the same teachers. We even use the same location as last year, which was Mekarsari Fruit Park, only in different area.
But things just felt different.
Even though I met these people every single day of my life, being in the camp in the middle of nature, far away from your parents, having no smartphones or access to technology made me finally be able to sit down and just observe people and see them from perspective that I never see before.
Someone that I used to not care about, suddenly became the first person that their presence I care while we were in the camp. Many of my friends that used to hang out with this one group, and then in this year’s camp they were hanging out with a totally new people.
Couples that last year I would never imagined will be together this year. New love stories. How many people that used to care about each other a lot, and on this year’s camp acted like a total strangers.
I kept thinking about people that used to be the number one in my head all the time and now he’s not even there anymore. And the person that I never imagined will be close to me last year was surprisingly the first thing I thought about every day and that person became the one that I always search for in the crowd full of people.
I realized how much things can change in just a year. It was funny, and in the same time, sad, too. It was funny how us humans always thought that something will last forever. Nothing lasts forever. Why? Because life keeps moving. The fact that life is always keep moving sooth me, but at the same time frighten me too.
The fact that I don’t really have to worry about too much things because it will get done and it won’t stay forever because it will change makes me happy because I realized I don’t have to get anxious every time over the smallest things.
But also that fact makes everything is temporary. My sadness, and also my happiness. The people that I love so much today might be a stranger to me in the future. The person that I care the most right now might break my heart at any time. The happiness that I feel might be taken away from me.
That fact also frighten me. I think maybe that was why people become so afraid to be happy. Not because they don’t feel like they don’t deserve it, but maybe because they was afraid that one day, when they finally got attached to that happiness, it will be taken from them.
But for me, the only way we can do as human is to be grateful for everything that we have right now. Don’t take them for granted. Never be afraid of change, of new things, about meeting new people.
Seeing how many things change in just a year make me think, what will happen next year? Next two years? Next five years? Ten? Who I’ll be in love with? Will I be as close as I am today with my best friends?
I remember the last page from Looking for Alaska by John Green, which was about Thomas Alva Edison’s last words. I like that part so much and I always keep that in the back of my mind.
“Thomas Edison’s last words were “It’s very beautiful over there“. I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful.”
― John Green,
So, until that time come when I finally get the answers to that questions above myself, I will just keep saying this words in my head over and over. I don’t know what will happen, I don’t know where there is, or who I’m going to meet, but I believe it’s somewhere, I believe it’s someone, and I hope it will be beautiful.