“Not everyone is going to like you.”
I guess it was the thing that most people might have heard at least once in their life. I remembered my mom repeating this sentence every single time when I was still back in the elementary school, fighting with one of my girl friends. Or not liking one of my teacher because they didn’t agree to my opinion.
What I have learn through-out these years are, no matter how nice and how good you’ve been treating others, some people are still going to find a way to hate you. Somehow, they are going to spot your tiny small flaws, and they will automatically say that you are a faker. That you are this. You are that.
Funny thing is, they are not even close to you. They are not the type of person you talk to every single day, they barely know how your day have been going. They know nothing and yet all they can see is how bad you are. It seems like you are just never enough.
I used to be the kind of person that when I found out if someone hate me, I will just freaked out and chase them and try and even beg for them to stay. I was so afraid of letting go of people that I even found myself becoming the one saying sorry for the things that I didn’t even do.
As time goes by, I realize how stupid I am, running after and opening up myself for people who are not even worth it. Why do I forgive people who do nothing but to hurt and put me down all the time? Why was I so scared to lose them? And then I learned one thing.
I see for validation. Validation from my friends. I care so much wether people like me or not and how they accept me. I want to be accepted in a certain group of people so bad, I was willing to do anything to just be with them, even though sometimes that include bringing myself down in order to be their friends.
No, I didn’t feel happy. I knew that I am not supposed to let myself treated that way, but I want to be part of that kind of friendship so bad. Because they looked cool, they seemed so fun. But keeping up with them were just nearly impossible.
So I did this. I learn to just let go of people and STOP seeking for validation from anyone. I am the one responsible of my own being, my self-worth, and I am the one responsible to take care of myself. I should not let people control how can they treat me. I am in charge for this body, mind, and soul. And I am going to take care of it and take care so damn well because its what I deserve.
Ever since I learned to love and appreciate myself, things changed. I become a way happier and positive person. I stopped running around and hanging with the group of friends that I am not really happy to be with. I spend more of my time focusing on myself and the people who genuinely cares about me. Not much, I know, but that’s okay.
I used to be so afraid when I know that someone didn’t like me. Because I just wanted to satisfy people. Truth is, its impossible. People will expect different things from you, so why don’t you just stop and be yourself then?
But know, I am at the point where if I know someone does not like me, I am all chill. Their opinions does not even matter to me anymore. I reflect it, yes, and I try to change the features that are not really that good in my personality, but then I don’t even bother anymore. Because this is my life and I am not going to let anyone stop be from being happy and enjoying my life.
I am not even mad at people when they decide that they don’t want to be in my life anymore. I am not even surprised. I feel like, people are going to leave soon anyway, and if it makes them happy, so just let them be. I am more than happy to lose someone rather than finding out in the future about them bringing negativity into my life.
People leave my life almost all the time, it feels like breathing already. Its just inevitable, so might as well just be ready. We don’t want to grief over our old friends and instead blocking the potential new souls waiting to be our best companions in the future.
I stopped building homes in other people. Instead, I nourish myself. I treat and feed myself well. Because I want to make sure I am preparing myself for those who actually deserve to be with me. I don’t want to spend my time thinking about the people who are not even that important anymore.
I am such a happy person right now, and I feel like, when we are happy, people, especially those who are not or secretly not happy with their life, will get jealous of us. Sometimes they only envy us for being happy because they don’t feel it in their life. And other times, which was almost all the time, they get jealous and all they want to do is to just find your bad traits, and talk about you behind their back in order to feel better about their miserable life.
So, instead of hating back on those people, I feel very sorry for them. How can someone be that unhappy in their life, all they want to do was just commenting on other’s life? How can someone lack that much of self love and worth in themselves?
And it’s true, because the majority of the time when I see someone hating on other people, its because they are also unhappy with theirs. They are jealous but are probably afraid to say it out loud. Just take a look at those people who like to talk about others behind their back, are they happy? Most of the time they are not.
I hope people will realize one day that in order to be happy, we should just start focusing on ourselves and being the better version of ourselves instead of hating and putting people down. I hope I can be a better person every single day. We all can.
“Not everyone is going to like you, and that is okay.”
I wish I know it sooner, I wish you do too.