unrequited love

Things change so fast, literaly. The last time I posted this, I am super proud with Ahok and Jokowi and now, while writing this, it has been more than a week since Ahok was sentenced for two years of jails as he was found guilty of blasphemy, a law that I never really understand anyway.

I was very sad when I knew that, because to me, Ahok is more than just a person. As a triple minority in Indonesia (chinese, a christian, and a woman), he is my symbol of hope. A hope that after all, people like me can fight for something and make things better. That being a minority doesn’t mean we have to be afraid to show our love to this country.

But to saw Ahok sentenced for two years of jail, it broke my heart. I know and we all know that he a good person. That all he ever wanted is to build this wrecked city to be better each day, and to take care of his people. All he ever wanted was to show his never-ending love for this city, and trying to give all he has for this country.

And yet, people still hate him. People still managed to point out his flaws and have this much hatred for him. People are brave enough to go on streets and screams bad words about him, death threads, and even insult his ethnicity.


My most favorite subject in school is History. I love them, because I like to read stories. I like to know that behind everything, there is always a story about it. But when I learned about what happened in 1965, and what happened at 1998, I felt super sad.

Its just, heartbreaking.

To read all this stories about people whose case were never justified by the law at all, the pain they will always have to bear for the rest of their live, the pain of someone they love so deeply died tragically, just because of their ethnicity. They died, never knowing what did they do wrong.

It scares me how much hatred can someone have in their heart towards someone else, just because they have different beliefs and culture. I wondered how many people still get panic attacks and nightmares about this event, long after this. The horrible horrible day.

No one deserve it.

And now, Ahok doesn’t deserve this either.

After everything that happens last week, I felt broken. Because no matter how hard I try, maybe I will never get recognized. Because I am just a minority. Because I am Chinese, instead of Indonesian. Even though I actually never even went to China before. I have been living in Indonesia for all my life.

And yet, for some people, I am still someone that is bad. Someone that should never be allowed to live here. Even though Indonesian is my mother-tounge. Is being an Chinese-Indonesian a curse?

Well, I guess it was never my fault. I never chose to be born this way. And I don’t think we should ever hate on others just because we have different beliefs or culture. Instead of trying to unite the difference, we need to learn how to celebrate it.

We don’t get stronger by being the same. We don’t get better by only sharing and being with those who have the same opinion as ours. But we grow when we unite, when we learn to tolerate others. We grow smarter by learning from others and sharing with others with different thoughts than us.

Sadly, some people still don’t realize that.

After this, there will only be two choices. To be sad because of it, and then be afraid, or to finally stand up and fight for what we think is right. My dream is to help and support more people like Ahok, because maybe the last time, he didn’t get enough of it. We let him fight the battle alone.

But after Ahok, we realize that we need to be together! We need to fight and support the right and clean goverment, and also criticize them when they did something wrong. That is how things work.

Because at the end of everything, this is still our country. Our city. The future is in our hands, and if we don’t stand up for our opinions. Instead of being afraid and shutting ourselves down, we need to finally stand up and contribute to this country.

I believe that after all, Indonesia is better than all of this.

And yes, maybe for now, this love I have for this country is going to be a one sided love.

And for once, it’s okay.

Real and undefined love never need to be requited anyway.



4 thoughts on “unrequited love

  1. I guess, political issues in here are more like playing the hunger games. Means having a powerful alliances are necessary. Such a lone wolf, though he’s still a wolf, will cost him lots of efforts more than the others in order to survive. Sad reality 😔

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agreed! I just hope that in the future, after all of this, people will start to realize that these genuine people need more than just a moral support. They need our actions too. This event should never shut us down or make us feel afraid. Because actually, he is not alone.

      Liked by 1 person

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